Puppies: Cute, but God they're pricks!

Wow! you're using a desktop for this? Exactly how little do you have going on in your life right now? Well, the upside of your emptiness is that you get to see this text. Mobile users won't even know this is here!

Felix: They'll eat their own shit over this!

So does that make this a hidden message? Yes, yes it does. Is it the only hidden message? Absolutely not. In fact, I think you'll be horrified by the amount of hidden messages that I've gone to the trouble of creating.

Pet Snakes: And other signs you're anti-social

I mean, it's ridiculous honestly. I'm not even sure what the point of this is. I wouldn't mind betting that most of these messages will go unseen by anyone apart from me. But maybe that is the point, maybe the fact that only you and me have read this makes it better.

Ultrawide wanker views Frixmas in 4K

Oh... wait! It's not just a desktop, you're using an ultrawide screen aren't you? Jesus Christ, this is priceless. I had to scale this page especially with you in mind. You're the only person who'll see this so once again you're rewarded for your profligacy.

Ultrawide wanker reads Lorem Ipsum

I'm not writing more of this shit just for you. Here, enjoy some Lorem Ipsum. I just want you to know that no matter what anyone says, you will always be our first dad. Hide your diamonds, hide your exes, I’m a little bit Alexis! Oh, I’d kill for a good coma right now. Like Beyoncé, I excel as a solo artist. If you’re looking for an ass to kiss, it’s mine. This place is almost charming. Very rustic cottage… I was half expecting early Unabomber.